Ranking

The Video Game Protagonist You Became

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#PreviewCandidateWin rateMatch win rate
—MarioSuper Mario. The jump is the whole language, and everyone already speaks it— win— match wins
—LuigiLuigi's Mansion. Got his own series by being the one who is visibly terrified— win— match wins
—LinkThe Legend of Zelda. Never says a word and somehow you always know what he wants— win— match wins
—Samus AranMetroid. The suit did the talking for years before anyone knew who was inside— win— match wins
—KirbyKirby. Looks like a marshmallow, wins by eating you— win— match wins
—Donkey KongDonkey Kong Country. Started as the obstacle, ended up carrying the whole jungle— win— match wins
—YoshiYoshi. Spent years as a mount before the games let him hold the reins— win— match wins
—WarioWarioWare. Mario if nobody had ever told him no— win— match wins
—Fox McCloudStar Fox. Do a barrel roll, and the whole internet still says it back— win— match wins
—Sonic the HedgehogSonic the Hedgehog. Sold a console on attitude and a run cycle— win— match wins
—Alex KiddAlex Kidd. Sega's first mascot, quietly written out when the hedgehog showed up— win— match wins
—NiGHTSNiGHTS into Dreams. A jester who flies, and nobody has ever explained more than that— win— match wins
—Crash BandicootCrash Bandicoot. Runs at the camera, which nobody had thought to do— win— match wins
—SpyroSpyro the Dragon. Purple, small, and unreasonably fast for something with wings— win— match wins
—RatchetRatchet & Clank. Half the appeal is the wrench, the other half is the arsenal— win— match wins
—JakJak and Daxter. Went from silent kid to gravel-voiced outlaw in one sequel— win— match wins
—Sly CooperSly Cooper. Steals from thieves, which is how the series gets away with it— win— match wins
—SackboyLittleBigPlanet. Made of fabric so you could dress him as anything— win— match wins
—Astro BotAstro Bot. A tech demo that grew up and won everything— win— match wins
—RaymanRayman. No arms, no legs, no neck, and it never slowed him down— win— match wins
—Mega ManMega Man. Beats a boss, takes the weapon, does it again— win— match wins
—Pac-ManPac-Man. Still the shape you draw when you draw a video game— win— match wins
—BombermanBomberman. The nicest looking character ever built to ruin friendships— win— match wins
—BubBubble Bobble. A dragon who fights by blowing bubbles and it works— win— match wins
—BanjoBanjo-Kazooie. Carries the bird, and the bird does most of the talking— win— match wins
—Earthworm JimEarthworm Jim. A worm in a robot suit, played entirely straight— win— match wins
—ShantaeShantae. Attacks with her hair and changes shape by dancing— win— match wins
—KlonoaKlonoa. Cute enough that the ending catches people completely off guard— win— match wins
—CrocCroc. The crocodile who was almost Yoshi, and got a whole series instead— win— match wins
—GexGex. A gecko who will not stop making television references— win— match wins
—Ty the Tasmanian TigerTY the Tasmanian Tiger. Fights with boomerangs, which is the only thing you need to know— win— match wins
—PaRappaPaRappa the Rapper. Paper thin, and still believes he gotta believe— win— match wins
—UlalaSpace Channel 5. A reporter who saves the galaxy by dancing on camera— win— match wins
—OriOri. Small, glowing, and handed the saddest opening in the genre— win— match wins
—KnackKnack. Made of parts, and gets bigger the more of them he finds— win— match wins
—FroggerFrogger. The whole character is the decision to cross— win— match wins
—Master ChiefHalo. Never takes the helmet off, and that is the point— win— match wins
—Gordon FreemanHalf-Life. A physicist with a crowbar who has never said a single line— win— match wins
—Doom SlayerDOOM. The plot is that he is angry and the demons are there— win— match wins
—Solid SnakeMetal Gear Solid. Sneaks past everything, then talks on the radio for an hour— win— match wins
—Sam FisherSplinter Cell. Three green dots in the dark and a voice that hates the job— win— match wins
—Agent 47Hitman. A barcode, a suit, and the patience to wait for the right moment— win— match wins
—Lara CroftTomb Raider. Went into the tomb first and everyone else has been following since— win— match wins
—Nathan DrakeUncharted. Cracks a joke, falls off a cliff, repeats— win— match wins
—KratosGod of War. Spent three games furious and then had to raise a son— win— match wins
—DanteDevil May Cry. Fights demons like it is a bit, which is why the combos look like that— win— match wins
—Ryu HayabusaNinja Gaiden. The reason a generation learned what a hard game feels like— win— match wins
—Marcus FenixGears of War. Made taking cover into a genre— win— match wins
—Isaac ClarkeDead Space. An engineer, not a soldier, which is the whole horror— win— match wins
—Max PayneMax Payne. Narrates his own misery in metaphors while diving sideways— win— match wins
—Serious SamSerious Sam. One man, one open field, and every enemy in the game at once— win— match wins
—B.J. BlazkowiczWolfenstein. Has been punching Nazis since the genre had a name— win— match wins
—Joanna DarkPerfect Dark. The spy shooter that stood up to Bond on his own console— win— match wins
—Cole MacGrathinFAMOUS. Electricity, a city, and a choice you keep having to make— win— match wins
—Corvo AttanoDishonored. The game notices whether you killed anyone, and so does he— win— match wins
—Adam JensenDeus Ex. Never asked for this, and said so enough that it stuck— win— match wins
—Leon S. KennedyResident Evil. Rookie cop on day one, and the series never let him rest— win— match wins
—Ezio AuditoreAssassin's Creed. Three games long, from spoiled kid to old man— win— match wins
—Geralt of RiviaThe Witcher. Grunts, drinks, and is somehow the most decent person in the room— win— match wins
—Kazuma KiryuLike a Dragon. Runs a street brawl and an orphanage with the same seriousness— win— match wins
—JoelThe Last of Us. Does the wrong thing for a reason you understand— win— match wins
—AloyHorizon. Learns what the machines are and then wishes she had not— win— match wins
—John MarstonRed Dead Redemption. Wants out, and the whole game is about how that goes— win— match wins
—SenuaHellblade. The voices are in the headphones, not on the screen— win— match wins

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